fireworks are pretty.

is it bad that i want to go to mexico now?
reasons why u ask?
-get away from my family cuz they are driving me crazy
-gain experience from the real world
-travel somewhere exotic like i always wanted to do
-get away from the chaotic feelings i get when im around a certain someone
-find who i am.

today i realized that my brother is never going to change. i love him but hes to agressive and he always has to be right. My mom has the worst case of add and she tends to talk about things that never happend. My dad is the typical business man and such a hardass where he treats us all like employees, and i swear is a robot cuz sometimes he doesnt feel anything. and sometimes i get the feeling hes in the dominican mafia. Me? i laugh at everything where i think i have hysteria, im not that pretty, i sit around being emo about how crazy my family is and this crush i have on a person is kinda killing me. im losing friends, and i dont know who i am anymore, yet i feel that im the only "sane" person in my family. im starting to slip away from being capable from handlings situations and problems, where i start to break down now. What do i do?what do i do?.............................. i wish i had a friend that i can talk to all the time and just have someone there for me.... Lindy is always busy and she has enough problems as it is, Brandy has bigger issues to deal with, and shes way to emo to talk to sometimes, axel, no way in hell, nick, hes heard enough and i dont want to go to him anymore, i just feel bad. Kerry is use to be there for me 24/7, he use to be there when i was in need, he was seriously the best friend ive ever had, i miss him soo much. but hes moved on and i moved on. i cant think in the past i need to move foward. i found my box with all the letters him and i use to write to each other. i just want to burn them. along with chrissie and i pics and one card she sent me, shes a jewish bastard bitch.... im tired of ppl being bitches. i need new friends. i need a life and a job.

im in love with this song. it made me cry.

straylightrun-The words we say

We'll wait in line
For most our lives
Get out get in
Get on with it
We always hurt the ones we never really loved
We always think we're all alone we're always
Broke
We're always broke

The words we say take different shapes

We'll live and die with all the things we recognize
We'll count our sins
Stop now begin
We know the words are better left unspoken
When they'll be right in
To tear the heads off of us
Oh oh uh
Tear the heads off of us
Oh oh

The words we say
Take different shapes
And you can only do so much
To try to get your point across
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh [continues through fades till end]

I'll live and die with all the things i recognize
I'll count my sins
Stop now begin