luck was on my side tonight. till i got home. heh heh.

today was fun then it ended in such a bust.

i went to casino night with annie, rachel, brittany, chris, alec, amy, brian, and ben.
i spent a toal of 24 dollars, and came back with 57$!!!! i was lucky, and i gave everybody else luck.
and i had the giggles soo bad that everytime i looked at ben id jsut bust out laughing. haha he kinda is cute. hahaahaha. wow. anyways, the sucky part was i wanted to go to ontario to see becca for one last time, but my mom didnt let me go cuz nice girls dont go out at midnight cuz its part of the house rules and that its impossible. i basically cried cuz im tired of that shit. id be driving with no traffic, wide awake cuz i hade like 2 energy drinks, and to a save place where my brother lives and where nick is responsible. i just dont get it sometimes. but i understand why, they only have me for a certain amount of time, and they just want these last moments with them and to keep me in their rules.

uhhhh so fustrating. i cried. cuz my dad just woke up and laughed at me.
sometimes i just wished that theyd just chillax for one fucking moment and just not worry.but they are my parents and i know i might thank them in the future, but i jsut need them to let me make my pwn mistakes. the sad thing was my mom tried to explain that there are ppl vandalizing the busses at school and proly bad ppl. the funny thing was that was kaili, alyssa, annie, nick, a whole bunch of ppl cuz it was the senior prank. and i told her that and she just keot on going about how that was horrible. funny thing, i was actually about to go with all them, but i was out doing somehting else. w/e.

2mro i will proly be really bored. and will most likly drive out to ontario for the day...uhhh.

whatever, i hate missing out on good times. i think thats why i dont want to go to mexico cuz i dont want to miss out on good times with my bestieess! but i guess i have to grow up and just toughen up and just go to mexico and have a good time there. but i dont want to grow up tooo fast, cuz ive already done that with just hanging out with axel and his friends. blahhh.

i hung out with chris today for a bit. we talked, he has a girlfriend now, which is great. hes calmed down a bit, and i think we can be friends again and go back to the way we use to be. where everything was fun and didn't care about anything and just laughed at everything. non of this ohh we fucked up our friendship for doing "stuff" and blahhh. and nick well he just is a no no. he keeps arguing with juliana and i dont want to be in the middle of that even though he tells me im not. and hes going back to the whole my friends are more important, like he ditched his friends for other friends, and i dont want to deal with that, especially when hes a wild child and im afraid im gonna be at the wrong time at the wrong place with him and get in trouble with the cops with him. soo thats a no no.

i guess its back to square 1.

theres one more person, but hes a defintly no no. cuz it would never happen. blehh.

im bored, is 1 in the morning and im not tired. gooshhhhh i want to be in ontario! whatever, i jsut hope becca has a safe trip to europe.

today made me happy when i had the giggles like crazy!! cuz everyone had a smile and i boosted all of their egos. haha sons of bitches and their egonesssss. hahah

im glad i can just laugh at everything and make ppl smile. the first thing i notice with ppl is their smile. u can tell soo much from a persons smile. its amazing.

<3